


I Accidentally Interrupted the Bachelor Party

by InfernalBlossom



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Ignoring the World Order, Reader-Insert, Spur of the Moment Story, Sucked into a Fictional Universe, Weird Plot Shit, but I know angst will worm its way in, meant to be more of a comedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-09-16 20:17:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16960800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfernalBlossom/pseuds/InfernalBlossom
Summary: You don't know what happened. One minute you were playing Final Fantasy XV, kicking sabretusk ass, then an error code popped up and...wait... That's not what happened in my play-through...Heavily inspired by @Misspixieice. Had I not stumbled on to her reader-insert story, I wouldn't have remembered the fun of writing one myself!.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Dear Ra, it's been forever since I've written a reader-insert story... Actually, I've only ever written one, and that was at least 8 years ago OTL Let's hope I can still pull it off.
> 
> And thank you, @Misspixieice, for helping me remember how much fun writing this kind of story is. Super kudos to you~ It's my first time writing it in a reader-insert format; my first story was an author-insert. Let's see how it goes!

"Aw, come ON! That's bullshit- I had you down to, like, ten percent health!" An angry huff left your lips, blowing some of your hair out of your face, and you stared at the 'GAME OVER' screen. Again. For the fourth time. You dug a hand into the bag of chips on your lap and hunched over to grab the glass of lemonade next to your chair. You were very careful in your search for it; you didn't want to hear it again from your mother if you accidentally spilled all over 'her floor'. Vexed chews were heard through the microphone hanging by the left side of your mouth, attached to the cushioned pads over your ears of your headset. A comment flashed on screen as you hit the X button to reload from your last save, fully prepared to fight the Adamantoise - AGAIN. **'ooh share your food'** it read. You chuckled once, the comment in the scrolling chat cheering you up a bit. "Okay. one more time."

You'd received your copy of Final Fantasy XV in the mail right before it launched. Having been lucky enough to buy one of the exclusive Ultimate Collector's Editions that went on sale six months prior to the release, you fawned over the cover art of the box, then your exclusive Noctis figure. He was going straight on the shelf, next to Prompto, you reminded yourself. It wasn't the first game you'd streamed online but it was your favorite so far, and two years in you were playing with all the new updates released by the developer. The set costed you a pretty penny, too, enough where you'd rather your mother see lemonade spilled on the floor than find out about the $270 price tag you paid without a second thought. Ra forbid that ever happen. "Come and get it, big boy!" you taunted the giant pixelated turtle. "You're going DOWN!"

But it was, in fact, you that went down. Again. For the fifth time. "SHIT!" you yelled, then immediately cupped your hand over your mouth. Mom yelled back at you from the next room to quiet down. One deep breath later your voice settled to a more appropriate octave and you pressed X once more. Honestly, you weren't really focusing on killing the Adamantoise. You'd played the game three times through already and could easily off the mountain of reptile. But you were using it to avoid going back to Pitioss Dungeon per your viewers' request. The first time was still embarrassing: losing your shit while you streamed and your friends in the voice chat laughing hysterically at you after you fell off the block for the eleventh time in a row, ALL because Noctis couldn't stop without skipping just forward enough to drop. Your viewers loved it so much and stuck through your entire session in the dungeon, and were begging to see another round of you screwing up online. Alas, you knew the Adamantoise wouldn't give much experience now, if any at all, and you caved. "Fine, we're going to Pitioss Pit of Hell," you announced on stream.

And just as you predicted, your trip through the dungeon a second time was just as much of a fiasco as the first, even with the shortcuts.

Your phone buzzed with a text and you checked it. Mom said she was going to bed and to put the cat in the bathroom for the night. And it was almost 1am. Sheesh. You didn't think your casual FFXV stream would go on for five hours, and your back was starting to feel the effects of sitting hunched over without stretching. It was time to call it a night. When you accidentally ran Noctis into the spinning skull spikes you set the controller down on your lap. You opened your mouth, ready to announce the end of stream, then suddenly felt the urge to play for a little longer. It wasn't like you had to be at work bright and early the following day, anyway. "Well," you began into the mic, "I'm about done with the Pit o' Ass Dungeon for now. I'll just be running around Duscae and killing sabretusks for weapon parts. For anyone leaving for the night, thanks for sticking around through my 'horrible' gameplay, and your support is much appreciated. And if I suddenly stop playing I wish you all a good night - or day, depending on where you live - and I love you all, my children. Turning off the mic now. Infernal out."

The headset unplugged, you tossed it onto your bed behind your chair and rolled out your shoulders. You'd given your cat his medicine and put him in the bathroom for the night, ignoring his irritated old man meows as you returned to your room. Your file loaded to Noctis and his boys parked at Hammerhead Station. Tilting the joystick up, you made them run away from the gas station and into the desert, where a band of Sabretusks immediately spawned. They were eliminated in one hit - you were WAY too over leveled for them. Other creatures appeared and you took care of them, and before you realized it you'd ran all the way to Cleigne in the rain. Ignis' hair dropped from it and you grinned at that. He wasn't particularly your favorite character out of the quartet, but you enjoyed hearing his snide remarks that would get under his brothers' skin, and memorized one or two lines to use on your friends at some point. The characters were nearing a haven when you let out a long yawn. Yeah, it was time for bed. "I'll just save and make them sleep," you muttered to yourself, and sent the characters forward.

A translucent black rectangle took over the middle of your screen. 'An error has occurred in the system,' it read, 'Returning to-'

No. No no no no no. You weren't going to lose all that progress you made - those rare drops you got after hunting every last monster and daemon you came across. You bit your lower lip and glared at the television screen, then the PlayStation, then the screen again. "Shitty PSN. It always freezes at the most inconvenient time." But you couldn't entirely blame it on the system, as the weather had gone south outside and thunder rolled in the sky. The disruption wasn't going to resolve in a few seconds, you realized, and sighed with your thumb rubbing the X button before pressing it to confirm your return to the home menu.

The screen remained the same. You pressed X again and nothing happened. "AWWWWWWUGGGGGHH." You threw your hands in the air, controller in the right, and reluctantly got out of the chair to inspect the gaming system. Its motor sounded fine, from what you knew. It wasn't overheating. The disc drive worked okay. Yup, your progress was gone. Your thumb shifted to the home button on your controller and pressed down, returning to the system's home screen.

The screen glitched when your shifted the menu to end the game and eject the disc. Maybe you needed to give it a break; you'd been playing it almost nonstop for the past month and a half. Again the system refused to comply with your commands. "Great. There goes my life." You'd heard about the same problem from one of your coworkers. He couldn't fix it and was forced to mail it back to Sony, leaving him Playstation-less and possibly without all his saved data. At that point your annoyance grew to aggravation. "Piece of crap." Your left hand curled into a fist and hit the top of the system with a hard thud riddling through the plastic casing. The screen went in and out, between the PS home screen and the frozen FFXV gameplay error screen. "The hell's the matter with you?" The controller dropped from your hand and hit the wood floor loudly. "Shit!!" The noise was surely loud enough to wake your parents and sisters, especially when your dog began barking from his kennel in the kitchen. On the bright side the controller and floor were both fine, but the PlayStation was still acting up. The last thing you had in mind to try was inspecting the wires behind it. You pushed a stool over to your television stand and stood on it to get a better view while you turned the system as far as it would go without disconnecting. You noticed one of the plugs wasn't in properly and reached to push back into place. A spark blew from the back of the console and into your fingers. "Oww!' You retracted your hand and jumped off the stool, and shook out your fingers to check for damage. "That was weird..."

Not as weird as the way the television screen was flickering...and was the TV jumping too? Sleep deprivation on your part caused you to see strange things occasionally, but nothing like this. The screen cracked with a loud, blinding spark. You shielded your face with your arms and ducked below. The phenomenon was shaking the entire TV stand, throwing all your various Final Fantasy figurines off the top shelf. You focus switched to catching them before they hit the floor and broke, and when you caught the last one, you heard something rumbling above you.

The last thing you saw was your PlayStation hopping off its shelf and falling straight down, onto your head.

Somewhere along the line you were semi-conscious, though your surroundings remained shrouded in black. There were several possibilities as to what could've happened. A- there was an earthquake somewhere near your area and the aftershocks were hitting everything. Not very likely considering where you lived. B- you were dreaming. Weird things always happened in your dreams, like the time when you dreamt you and your sister were arguing over an insignificant spoon. That option was open. C- you didn't want to think it, but you could be dead. Or in a deep coma. Your subconscious could have awakened way before your body and landed in this shadowy abyss you assumed was your mind. That would suck. And unfortunately, it seemed to be the truest theory.

Your eyes finally peeled open, and the first thing they saw was green. Lots of green...grass? You shot up, having realized you were laying on the ground like some serial killer's victim, and your eyes stalked the immediate area. You were outside, in the middle of some gathering of trees on a pretty steel hillside. "Geez...my head." You checked yourself for injuries. Arms were fine, legs were fine - you seem to have forgotten to change out of your clothes after taking care of the cat - you clothes were fine. You didn't even have a scratch on your head, from what you could tell, but there was an uncomfortable pressure pushing up on your behind. Of course you'd land on the one rock you could find in the area, and of course that rock had to be touching your ass. And while the area looked and smelled nice, you knew it wasn't anywhere near where you lived. Maybe it could've been the park a few blocks from your house, but there weren't any hilly, grassy areas like this, especially with so many trees around. You scooted off the rock and sat more comfortably on the grass. Yup, you were dreaming. Mom warned you not to eat past 9pm unless you wanted to have weird dreams; nice job listening to her.

Then voices echoed down the hill. Voices meant people, and people and grass meant you were outside - Ra knows where - but at least you were in one piece. Maybe there was a police station or some emergency center nearby you could go to. Make a call to your family, file a report, have them check for DNA under your fingernails as a precaution. And most important of all, you had to get home to your cat. If it was morning or close to noon he needed his medicine, and you sure as hell knew no one else in the house was gonna shove the pills down his throat. You rolled forward into a stand and brushed the grass residue from your knees. Great. These were your favorite jeans: the ones that were super comfortable and had a small paint stain on the outer left thigh. Paint? You could deal with. Grass? You weren't much of a nature person. "Nature ain't natural," you'd tell your family when they saw you scratch at an area touched by a plant or leaf seconds before. Whatever the circumstance, knowing other people were near by lifted a weight from your shoulders, and you began to skip down the hill.

At the bottom of the hill a metal guard railing lined a paved street, and across said street was a small building flocked with people and...giant yellow feathery things. Damn, the PlayStation really rattled your brain. Nevertheless there were people, and that meant you could get some information. You looked left, turned right, then back to the left in search of moving traffic. No cars passed by, and you felt safe enough to hurry across the road and figure out what the hell was going on.

Halfway across the street a black streak zoomed toward you, and before you could register what it was, the black streak had run into you.


	2. Chapter 2

Things weren't exactly going well for a group of four traveling the countryside. The driver of the crew was out of commission with a recently fixed dislocated shoulder earned from their last battle against some wildlife, which left the youngest member of the group as the backup. The substitute wasn't necessarily a bad driver; he was more of a distracted driver - distracted by the sights and sounds of the land, and his desire to take photos of everything. So the wheel was handed over to the third member of the group; usually the one being chauffeured, the shoe was on the other foot - not that he minded.

"You sure you can handle the wheel?" the remaining member questioned from the back seat, keeping tabs on the usual driver's injury.

"Pssh." The young man waved a hand at his friend. "Please, this isn't my first time driving. Besides, it's better than Freckles here steering with one hand while snapping pictures with the other." Said blond, nicknamed Freckles, turned to his left and gave the driver a dirty look with a pout.

"Wow, dude. Thanks for the undying trust. Don't ask me to save you from the next Magnanir to charge at you."

"Prompto..." the main driver nagged. He held the back of the headrest in front of him with his good hand and drummed his fingers on the side until the blond caved with a huff and a groan. The substitute driver snickered while making a left turn. "You too, Noct." The person in question briefly glanced over his shoulder to the accuser. "Just because I scolded Prompto doesn't mean you'll get away with it." And then Noctis' joy was gone, replaced with annoyance that stayed on his face a few minutes more while he drove.

The man sitting beside the nagger rolled his eyes with a grunt. "Oh, please," he commented, "you act like Specs is your parent."

"Because he constantly _acts_ like one," Noct argued. "Every time Prompto and I share a little banter-"

"There's a difference between banter and cutting down your friends, Highness, and I hate lecturing you about it over and over again. Gladio and I are your retainers; we shouldn't have to parent you."

Noctis let out a huff. "Oh, come on, Ignis! We do this kind of crap all the time!" He looked over his shoulder again, this time twisting his body to face Ignis better. "Remember when the four of us-"

"Noct, the road!"

"Look out!"

Prompto and Gladio's shouting returned Noctis' focus on the road, but it was too late for him to swerve around whatever was suddenly in his path. The object and grill of the car collided and sent the object flying down the asphalt. Noctis hit the brakes hard and forced the steering wheel as far to the right as it would go. Rubber streaks followed the car's sharp perpendicular turn on the narrow road until the vehicle skidded to a halt. The screeching was heard by everyone at Wiz's Chocobo Post just down the hill, and the patrons skipped to the road to check on the situation. Murmurs of concern quickly grew to panic as the citizens descended onto the scene unfolding, watching the four men in the black car dash toward what their car hit. The most prominent voice was that of Noctis, who was torn between pacing back and forth, or collapsing next to the person he realized he hit with the car. "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god," he kept repeating, his hands hovering over the semi-conscious moaning body. "I-I-I didn't see her crossing the- She just came out of n- Oh my god! I'm such an idiot!"

While Prompto took care of calming the Prince, Ignis and Gladiolus knelt beside the victim and began to assess her injuries. "Keep her still," the tactician instructed the bodyguard, and two other people who rushed to the scene. Confusion was all over her face, as if she had no idea what was going on as her eyes flickered from one person to the next. Wiz stood on the side of the road, phone in hand, locating the nearest hospital. Using his good hand Ignis waved his fingers in front of her eyes. "Can you hear me, miss?" he asked over the scrambling voices. "How many fingers am I holding up?" The girl didn't respond, much to his worry, and he turned his attention to the rest of her injuries. The visible ones were mainly bruising and gashes, but none of them could tell if anything worse had happened on the inside. "She may have some broken bones. We need to keep her straight and still." His attention shifted to the people assisting Gladiolus. "I need cloth and branches!" The locals did as he asked and helped him put her limbs in makeshift splints, following each step he gave them to keep her as stable as possible until she could be properly examined.

After what felt like an eternity an ambulance pulled up to the scene. The paramedics were quick to lay the victim on a gurney and begin to record her stats as they packed her up. Gladiolus jogged up to the ambulance and climbed in the back, telling his friends, "I'm gonna keep an eye on her. Meet me there." Ignis collected the other two men and loaded them into the Regalia as the crowd began to disperse. Prompto was once again entrusted with the wheel, with Ignis' arm still in a sling and Noctis too emotionally distraught to focus. He shoved his camera onto Ignis' lap and pressed on the gas, and drove after the ambulance.

None of the doctors could find any information on her: no ID, no wallet, no phone. Their Jane Doe was rushed to X-ray while Gladiolus filled the medics in on what happened, then to have her head and body scanned for any internal injuries. He waited on the side as her clothes were cut off and the surface wounds were treated, an IV shoved into her arm and all kinds of nodes attached to monitor her vitals. Fifteen minutes in the others joined him in the waiting room. The Prince was a complete mess, still in shock over what happened. His friends did all they could to comfort him but the truth had already burrowed its way under his skin. Noctis Lucis Caelum, Crown Prince of Lucis, hit someone with his car - his father's car. It was only a matter of time before some tabloid reporter heard of the crash and dug through the information to publish a story for a quick gil. Bad publicity was the last thing the Prince needed on his mind when he was already dealing with his father's health, an approaching peace treaty signing with Lucis' mortal enemy, unrest with the Galhadian citizens residing in Inosomnia... He didn't have room for any more issues. Accidents happen, Prompto tried telling him. Everyone knew he didn't intentionally do it, Ignis reminded the Prince. Just pay more attention to the road next time, Gladiolus instructed him in the calmest tone he could manage. Their advice fell on deaf ears, though. His eyes were glued to the floor, hands knitted together, pushed against his forehead while the reality of it all hit him, and all he wanted to do was crawl into a hole.

An hour passed before anyone approached the quartet to update them. They immediately stood up when the doctor treating the girl walked into the waiting room. "You brought in the Jane Doe victim, correct?" she asked, to which they nodded. The doctor's eyes shifted momentarily to the clipboard in her grasp. "Well, the good news is no broken bones. Not even a fracture. I'm quite amazed at the few injuries she accrued." She gestured her hand for the men to follow her. "The CT scan didn't show any evidence of internal bleeding or severe brain trauma, but it looks like she has a concussion. Aside from that, mostly scrapes and bruises. She's very lucky to have come out of this with so little having happened." Her gaze watched their reactions as they absorbed the exam results. It stopped on Noctis, who'd turned white and was still shaking, and she laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I know it looks bad, but she'll make a full recovery. She just needs a day or two to recover." Her sentence finished, the doctor reached for a curtain and pulled it toward her. "In the meantime, it would be a big help if any of you could figure out who she is, or if she has any family around." She gave them a final nod and took her leave, allowing the Lucians to finally see who'd met the grill of the Regalia.

Hers was a face they'd definitely never seen before. She seemed fine, despite the large bruise surrounding a gash on the side of her forehead. Her hair was a complete mess of brown curls knotting into each other - no one in Insomnia had hair like that. Like Prompto freckles dusted her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. Noctis happened to follow them across her face and halted when one of the brown dots pulled his vision to her split lip, and he sank into a chair beside the bed. Gladiolus stood next to him and pat his charge on the back. "Remember when I got my scar?" he reminisced out loud. "The jerk who slashed my face intended to harm you, and I did what I had to for your protection. You blamed yourself for two weeks, until we sparred and I beat the guilt outta ya." Noctis remembered that night clearly, he could tell. While not as dire as the girl's situation he worried all the same, and in the end, everything turned out fine. "She's gonna be okay, Noct, so don't blame yourself."

"But if will calm your conscience," Ignis added, "perhaps you should come up with something to make up for this little mishap."

"And how are we gonna do that?" Prompto crossed his legs and tucked them under his body when he sat on the opposite side of the bed. "You heard the doctor: there's no way to ID her. It's like she fell out of the sky or something." He didn't want to be the one to say it, but someone had to. Whatever plan of forgiveness they had up their sleeve could only be figured out once they could determine her identity.

Noctis momentarily glanced at the unconscious girl. "Guess we'll just have to wait for her to wake up."

* * *

As a New Yorker, you were used to a lot of things: asshole drivers, crowded streets during rush hour, sidewalk traffic via tourists, jaywalkers, and the occasional Times Square weirdo. But not once had you ever actually been hit by a car; guess today was your lucky day. You were sure you'd looked both ways to check for traffic before hopping across the street. Then again, if the driver of that car was anything like the ones driving down Fifth Avenue, you looking both ways before crossing didn't matter. There was always that one asshole driver who'd appear out of nowhere, and today the honor of becoming target practice fell on your shoulders. Whoever decided to use 'getting hit by a truck' to describe a minor headache were obviously never hit by a speeding vehicle. You were wishing for a headache instead of the force which slammed into your ribs and sent you flying, bouncing like a ball down the road. You had no clue when you stopped rolling, or who the voices above your body belonged to. Your eyes were open but the world around you was blurred and spinning, leaving the shapes you believed to be faces hovering above you unrecognizable. Hands were all over you and everything hurt when touched. Eventually you couldn't take the pain anymore and passed out on the asphalt, your last sight being something reaching under you.

Whatever you recalled after that was either through memories having nothing to do with the incident, or stills of the environment right before you heard rubber screeching on the street. The air had a slight dampness to it, and when your eyes landed on the giant feathery shapes, you absorbed that classic zoo smell. Maybe you'd gotten drunk or something and wandered off to the zoo near your house...yeah, that wasn't likely. Your local zoo was completely fenced in; the one you'd seen was an open space with a single one-story level shack that looked like it was near the edge of a cliff... There were no cliffs where you lived, or giant yellow feathery things. So you couldn't figure out where you were, and your mind didn't feel like guessing anymore, instead digging through your memories. The memory of your first playthrough of Final Fantasy XV stuck with you from the very beginning. You cried a lot from the emotional story, especially following the events of Chapter 9. That one part of the game - particularly Luna's death and Ignis losing his eyesight - had you bawling so hard on stream that your mom thought your boyfriend at the time had broken up with you. You and millions of fans across the world knew Luna and Ignis deserved better than the hands they were dealt, and suddenly, it was like you were playing through that chapter all over again: watching the Lucians charge through the streets of Altissia as the Empire flew in and launched their attack; seeing Luna stand with confidence at the altar and facing Leviathan; Noctis suddenly being controlled by the power of kings temporarily unlocked by his betrothed; waking up beside Noctis and learning of Luna's fate after all was done. Oh, you were never prepared for that moment. That death scene always got to you, and as you watched the Oracle float away from you while you clawed at the water to reach her, you felt yourself crying all over again.

"...Luna...no... Come back..." She was slipping away again, sinking to the bottom of the sea with a smile despite the stab wound to her diaphragm. Behind you, you heard a maniacal laugh, and found the source to be none other than Ardyn Izunia, who watched the Tenebraen Princess dissipate and the world lose hope. You couldn't help your emotions building up again. "You...you killed her!"

And as suddenly as you were being swallowed by the water, you shot up from wherever you were laying, face soaked from sweat and tears and breathing rapidly. Why you were on a bed in what looked like an emergency room was anyone's guess. The beeping monitor next to you blasted with the speed of your heart beating, and woke up the two sleeping figures sitting on either side of you. On your right was a man in glasses and business attire, driving gloves on his hands and his left arm in a sling. He appeared much calmer to your sudden outburst than the younger, black-haired guy to your left who looked like he'd seen a ghost. "You're awake! Oh, Six, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hit you - it was an accident!" His words were lost on you when you realized there was an IV shoved into your arm, and for some reason you were extremely sore, especially your head. The guy to your right was obviously more level-headed compared to the goth guy currently freaking out by the monitors, whose attention flickered between the babbling weirdo and you, as if he was gauging your reaction. Staring at him for a minute made you realize how much he looked like a character from one of your favorite games, as did the one losing his mind next to you. They were way too familiar.

"Miss, are you alright?" the calm one asked, laying his hand on top of yours. His accent was also familiar, and the longer you stared at him, the more you found yourself thinking you being outside was just a dream. "Do you know where you are?"

Your brows drew in. What kind of stupid question was that? "Yeah..." you began. "But why am I in an emergency room?"

Relief seemed to wash over the stranger. "Unfortunately there was a little bit of a mishap on our part. We, uh...had a little collision. But rest assured that we'll take care of all your medical bills and anything else you'll need for your recovery."

"Recovery? The hell do you mean by-" And then it dawned on you: the IV in your arm, waking up in an emergency room, the extreme soreness rippling through you, the horrified looked on the younger guy's face... "...Oh. So that's what happened."

And then the black-haired one was apologizing again, this time on his knees. "I'm so sorry! I didn't see you crossing the street, I swear!" He went on and on, repeating how he didn't mean to hit you with his car, how he'd compensate you no matter what it took, but all you could think was how he looked so much like the Lucian Prince.

Then two other men walked in, and just like the guys sitting at your bedside, these two also looked eerily similar to the FFXV cast. The longer you stared the more amazed you were. These four had some incredible cosplay skills. No details were spared in their makeup, attire and wig styling. The scar on the Gladiolus cosplayer looked so real. And then their voices - HOW did they get the pitch so perfect? The Gladiolus and Ignis cosplayers in particular looked so perfect, you were questioning if you somehow ran into those two famous cosplayers who looked just like them. When the Prompto cosplayer hummed to his friends in worry you snapped out of your trance, realizing how creepy you must've appeared with your uncomfortably long stares on them. "Uhhh..." You cleared you throat. "It's no big deal," you tried playing it off. "Doesn't feel like anything's broken or busted."

"Amazingly, no," Ignis replied. "You got off extremely lucky - thank the Six." Wow. They really took their personas seriously. "By the way...in your unconscious state, you mentioned a particular name." You raised an eyebrow, and he must've got the message because he backed off.

"Can I get a picture with you guys?" You suddenly blurted out. Four pairs of eyes widened at your strange inquiry, and your shoulders dropped. "I'm sorry," you chuckled, "it's just...this whole thing has to either be a dream or some strange coincidence."

The Noctis cosplayer seemed the most taken aback by your offer. "Uhh, sure, if it's okay with the rest of the guys." 'Gladiolus' shrugged at the idea, seeing no harm in a photo, then 'Prompto' and 'Ignis' agreed to it. The guys positioned themselves around the small hospital bed, careful to not lean on you and increase your pain. They forced smiles on their face, noticing your growing excitement, and you felt 'Noctis' giving you a side glance when your hand raised and made bunny ears. 'Gladiolus' took the camera from 'Prompto' and snapped the picture, then handed it back to the blond to see. You peered over his shoulder at the camera screen and stared. Sheesh, you really looked like crap. You didn't know how your lip wasn't pulsing with pain from the big split in it, nor could you believe how big the bruise above your eye was. Had you really been hit by a car?

'Prompto' must have sensed your distress, because he leaned in close and said, "Don't worry about it, you look great. I can edit out all the medical stuff in the background." But it wasn't the monitors or IV that bothered you. You couldn't tell if your eyes were playing tricks on you, but the you in the photo had scarily good definition. The brown in your eyes was bright, your freckles were perfect...your body didn't look awkward at all. The proportions were good...too good. "Something wrong?"

Before you could reply, the privacy curtain was pushed aside and a woman walked in. A smile grew on her face when she looked at you. "It's good to see you awake," she began. "How are you feeling?"

"Aside from confused and kinda sore, not much else. Though I would like to know where I am - as in where this hospital is located."

"Of course." The woman you assumed was your doctor approached you and stared into your eyes. "You're in the Kettier Highland, south of the Malacchi Hills."

"The what now?"

"Malacchi Hills," she repeated as she turned on a flashlight and swung it left and right in front of your eyes. "Honestly, with how far you flew, I'm shocked you didn't even fracture a bone. Most car accident victims sustain injuries rivaling that of a coeurl attack." Okay, this was getting weird. The continuous Final Fantasy terminology being thrown around was getting a little old. "But if you're lucky enough to survive a car accident unscathed, I think you'll have Shiva's blessing no matter what you face. That's not to say you should go looking for danger; we don't need you to test fate with the Empire knocking on our doorstep." The guys all tensed in unison. "Anyway, you're looking good now. I'll have a nurse take down your information, then get the discharge paperwork started. Do you have someone we can contact?"

"Uhhhh...." Now thing were really getting weird. "Can...can I get a minute?"

The doctor nodded. "Of course. Call for a nurse when you're ready." She grinned at everyone before departing and pulling the curtain back into place, and the second she was gone, your own smile dropped.

You first turned to the guy dressed like Ignis. "Okay, you can all quit the act. I wasn't born yesterday."

'Ignis' squinted at your strange choice of words. "Pardon?"

"We're not at a convention, guys, we're in a hospital. No need to keep up the charade." You threw your legs over the side of the hospital bed, doing your best to fight off the pain surging through them. "What con were you even at? I don't remember seeing one advertised for this weekend." The more you spoke, the more bewildered the guys became.

They exchanged glances between themselves. "Umm," 'Noctis' began, scratching the back of his head, "there's...no convention going on. The only thing close enough to a con would be the spring Moogle Festival, but that was two weeks ago."

The air in the small room grew more awkward with every passing second. 'Gladiolus' stared at you, not sure of what you were rambling on about, then turned to 'Ignis'. "What'd the doc say she had?"

"A concussion. It could be the source of her confusion-"

They were talking about you like you weren't there. "I'm not confused!" You retorted, the raise in your voice rattling in your head. "Okay, MAYBE I'm a little confused with what happened and why everyone's using Final Fantasy terminology. But I know for a fact that you four-" You pointed to each of the guys- "aren't really royalty." Their jaws fell open and you crossed your arms. "That's right, I know who you are... More like, who you're passing yourselves off to be." You leaned real close to the guy posing as Noctis. "Anyone with a brain can see you and your friends are cosplaying as Noctis and your little boy band. And if you're unwilling to talk, well, I'll just consult Facebook."

Noctis' name rolling off your tongue turned the man in question pale. 'Gladiolus' in particular had tensed and positioned himself in between you and 'Noctis'. They seemed afraid to say anything, like you'd blown some giant secret. Prompto gulped like he was nervous. They all stared at you, unsure of what to say, so you continued from where you left off, your voice low. "Look, waking up to find people dressed like the Lucian Prince and his entourage was nice, but we're not at the Javits center. You can relax. And was that doctor in on this the whole time? She really thought I'd believe I was in Duscae!" You huffed. "As much as I enjoyed the little treat, I'm ready for a dose of reality." No one said anything, and after a minute, you were fed up. "I see how it is." Your attention was diverted to the IV still in your arm, and without thinking you tore it out while suppressing a yell from the pain. "Thanks for the entertainment, but I have to get home to my cat before someone forgets to drug him up. I'll find your cosplay page and send the info to my lawyer." Before any of them could stop you, you were shoving the curtain aside while holding your arm where the IV was. You only heard footsteps following you once you were a few rooms away from the guys, and you didn't stop until you were at the nurse's station. "Excuse me," you called to the charge nurse sitting closest to you, "what's the closest train station?"

The nurse looked at you like you had nine heads. "There aren't any trains in Kettier."

"Then where's the closest one?"

"You won't find any trains in Duscae, sweetie. The closest place with trains in Lucis is the crown city, Insomnia." Your breath caught in your throat. "But it's a bit of a drive to Insomnia, and-"

"Yeah, thanks," you cut her off, and wandered away from the station. You ignored her concerned gaze and when she called for you to come back, not wanting to hear any more 'Lucis' or 'Duscae' or 'Insomnia' for the first time ever. The soreness from when you woke up had intensified, doing its best to drag you down and make you succumb to whatever really happened, but you fought it and continued your aimless march through the emergency room. There were times when you were elated to talk about Final Fantasy XV and anything pertaining to its characters or lore; now wasn't one of them. All you were focused on was figuring out where you were, calling your family, and getting home. Halfway to where you assumed the exit was an overhead television displaying a news report. You couldn't hear what the journalist was saying over the hospital chaos and noise, but the video playback it showed left you silent. Whatever the reporters were talking about had to do with the centuries-long tension between Niflheim and Lucis, as shown in stills of both King Regis and Emperor Aldercapt, then of the Magitek infantry. You barely noticed the hand curling around your wrist, trying to guide you back to your hospital bed, with your full attention on the video of the Oracle Lunafreya marching out onto a balcony of the Lucian royal palace, hand in hand with her fiance, Prince Noctis. Then you overheard someone entering the emergency room, scolding his son about riding his chocobo too fast. Was the whole hospital in on it? Were you at KupoCon and it just had a weird theme this year?

"I've got her," you barely heard Prompto tell his friends, still distracted by the television. All of this was way too coincidental to just be an elaborate scheme at a convention.

Back in your little private space, you aimlessly asked, "What is this place?"

Ignis had moved to the other side of the bed, guarding Noct alongside Gladiolus. "Miss, you must keep calm-"

"Calm? I just woke up in the emergency room, surrounded by cosplayers who won't drop the act, and I'm being told I'm in Lucis! And you want me to be CALM?"

"But you ARE in Lucis," Prompto argued. He sat next to you on the bed, carefully to not startle you any further, and began to scroll through the photos on his camera. "Look, I'll show you." He stayed on the picture you'd taken with them for a moment, then scrolled back a few photos. "See? This is us in Lestallum, checking out the meteor." Two photos over. "And there's a catoblepas down in Alstor Slough. I even have video." Prompto shuffled through more photos until he stopped on the desired video and hit play. You watched the blond talk about Noctis getting hitched soon and the wild ideas he had for the bachelor party, and Gladiolus was sitting behind him in the Regalia giving the man in question a noogie. Then you overheard Ignis tell them to cut it out with the horseplay, and the camera switched to him, complaining that Prompto was distracting him from the road. The camera returned to the blond, and before the video ended a crop of black hair and blue eyes snuck into the corner of the lens. "We're telling the truth."

"And we're just trying to help you," Gladiolus added. "You hit your head pretty hard on the asphalt."

"No shit, Gladio," you retorted, immediately silencing the bodyguard. His eyes narrowed and put you on edge. "What?"

"How do you know my name?"

There they went with more stupid questions, but his glare on you wouldn't let up. None of their stares would. A sardonic chuckle escaped you. "You're kidding, right? You're asking me-" you pointed to yourself- "how I know the names Gladiolus Amicitia-" you pointed to the bodyguard, "Ignis Scientia-" your finger followed your roll call, "Prompto Argentum, and Prince Narcolepsy? Oh, that's rich." Yet their stares remained. "Uhh, guys? Hello? This is the part where you all burst out laughing, admitting you were trying to play me for a fool? That this whole situation is just an elaborate prank organized by my friends?" Still no budging. "...Why aren't you saying anything?"

Gladio broke his stare and turned to Ignis. "I think she hit her head harder than we thought."

"Still wouldn't explain how she knows all our faces," Noctis intervened, and you got their attention when you blew raspberries at the ridiculous thought.

"Of course I know who you all are! You four, Gentiana and Luna, Trash Jesus, the Queen of Sass, Nyx the so-called 'hero'-" They were quiet again, too quiet for comfort. Their faces read a mixture of fear and caution the longer you spoke. While distracted with Prompto's camera Ignis had reconnected the pulse meter to your finger, and the device's beeps were increasing fast. The sweat was back on your skin. Something was really wrong here.

Then the doctor returned to check on you. "Have you contacted your family, miss?" You didn't reply, your eyes widening by the second, your hands gripped tight on the sheets again. "Miss? Can you hear me? Can you tell me your name?"

You fell backwards and was absorbed by the black abyss once more.


	3. Chapter 3

The whole 'passing out after listening to people trying their damn best to convince you everything around was real' gig was really starting to get to you by the time you woke up again. The lighting was much dimmer than that of the emergency room, leaving you to wonder if you'd been moved elsewhere in the hospital, and even what time of day or night it was. A curtain blocked your view of whatever window lay on the other side of the room, leaving you only with the sight of the door that led to a hallway. "Gghhh..." A groan escaped you. Waking up the second time was much more painful, for some odd reason. You convinced yourself that you were in shock when you jumped to life in the emergency department, so whatever adrenaline that had been running through at the time masked the extent of the agony which coursed through every muscle in your body. "Damnit Ra and Osiris..." you grumbled. The silence lingering in the room was almost ominous: the kind of silence you'd get when you entered a room in a video game containing a save point and tons of equippable items for healing, only to run through the new passageway and be sucked into a boss fight. The various noises of the hospital were muted under the horrible feeling suddenly shaking through your spine, and that was when you decided to get out of there. You shoved the thick, itchy blanket off your body and grumbled a second time upon discovering the hospital gown you wore. It wasn't appealing that one time you were hospitalized for a bad spider bite, and it definitely wasn't appealing now. But where the hell were your clothes? Your eyes zipped around the room until they landed on the small bedside table, where you found your clothes in a plastic bag...which could only mean one thing. Carefully you swung your legs over and reached for the bag, doing your best to ignore the IV that had been stabbed into your arm again. You didn't even have to pull out your shirt to see it was split in half, the same with your jeans. The only survivors of the calamity seemed to be your sneakers (and you had no idea when you'd put those on). Well there went your chance to sneak out without looking suspicious. You flopped backwards onto the pillows again and crossed your arms with an annoyed huff. "Great... How am I supposed to get out of here now?"

"If you can wait a little while, you'll be able to leave," you heard a voice utter from the doorway. Your attention immediately focused on the large man leaning against the frame, arms crossed and staring at you with suspicious brown eyes. "Hey."

"...Hey..." Okay, this had gone from weird to kind of creepy. That glare Gladiolus set on you was different from the one he gave the first time you said his name. You gave him a weak wave, feeling the chills in your spine return. "Uh..." You averted your own gaze, not liking the aura his glare gave off (which explained the ominous sensation from a few minutes before). "So..." You twiddled your fingers on top of your knees. "So... How long was I out for?"

"A good few hours," he replied, the tone of his voice opposing the stare lingering on you. "You really scared the doctor back there. Iggy and Noct, too. You need to take it easy until you've fully recovered." You got the feeling he noticed the way you avoided meeting his gaze, because a large shadow slowly crept over you as he neared your bedside. Gladio plopped himself down in the single chair and knitted his fingers together. His eyes finally left you and switched to studying the patterns in the tile floor. "Don't worry about your clothes. The others went out to get you some new ones."

You raised an eyebrow. "And you stayed behind...because?" Then his gaze drew up and met yours. He looked much calmer than when he entered the room, but you weren't believing anything until you were sure he wouldn't explode on you or anything of the sort. He may have been a giant teddy bear at times in the game, but you knew all too well that Gladiolus Amicitia was Noctis' bodyguard for a reason. His body was literally built for the job. His voice could go from calm to battle-focused in a single octave. Hell, you remember watching the guy practically picking on Noctis after Luna's death until the Prince accepted what happened. So until you could read him like he read all those books he stashed in the Regalia, you would take everything he said with a grain of salt.

Gladiolus seemed to sense your inner distress. "Well, someone had to make sure you didn't hurt yourself trying to run away. And since I'm the only one of us with a sibling, the task fell onto me." His mouth drew into a crooked cocky grin. "So don't get any ideas. I've been running around to keep an eye on my sister for a long time, probably longer than you've been alive."

Your eyebrows raised. Okay, that was something you didn't expect to hear from Gladio. Then again, it was something you were used to hearing nearly every day of your life. You were the epitome of a baby face with how many times your age was mistaken by nearly ten years. He was probably thinking the same thing as everyone else. "How old do you think I am?" His gaze narrowed for a moment and your body tensed. After a bit of silence he seemed to have an answer ready.

"Sixteen."

You blinked once. Then twice. "...I'm twenty-five."

And then his calm stare widened. Yup, there it was: the stare of disbelief. You'd been through this a million times with proving your age, especially when it came to going out with your friends to bars. Of course, people still couldn't fathom how you were in your mid-twenties, yet possessed the appearance of someone celebrating her Sweet Sixteen. And the longer you waited for him to respond, the more you began to question whether he believed your words or not.

A relieving distraction came in the form of the other three men entering the room, all noticing you were awake. Prompto smiled at you, and you immediately felt yourself flattening into pudding just from the sight. "Heyaz." Oh my god, he even said the same cheesy lines he did in the game. "You're looking a lot better. Feeling any different?"

You shrugged your shoulders. "Eh, the best I could feel after getting hit by a car." The end of your sentence struck Noctis hard. He'd been standing behind Ignis and he began to shrink himself so he was hidden behind the tactician's shoulders. "Hey, I'm not mad. It was a freak accident; nobody's at fault." He didn't stop brooding, and you rolled your eyes at him.

Gladiolus seemed to find your reaction amusing. "Don't mind the drama queen," he commented while pointing behind him with his thumb, "he just needs four days of straight sleeping and then he'll be fine."

Noctis sucked his teeth. "Did you really have to say that, Gladio?" Prompto chuckled at his best friend's scrunched up face, scratching the back of his neck when the awkward air squeezed around him. The mood was light, to everyone's relief, but you all knew there were things to be discussed.

"Here you are." Your attention was drawn to Ignis, who set a large paper bag with knitted string handles beside you. "These should last you at least a couple of days." And when your eyebrow raised to question if he got the right size, he answered. "Forgive me for rummaging through your things; it was the only way I could find the right size." The thought of Ignis having potentially bought you bras made you blush instantly, but you shook the embarrassment away before anyone could point it out.

Instead of embarrassment you offered him a wide smile. "Aww, that's so sweet of you to do. I'll definitely try them on before I get outta here-"

"About that..." You fell silent and turned to Gladiolus, scratching at his beard as his gaze had a silent conversation with his crew. A single nod from the bodyguard was all it took for Prompto to skip backwards and close the door. Now you were getting nervous. Your eyes flickered between the four of them, lingering on Noctis for a nanosecond more, before settling on Gladiolus again, since he seemed to have the guts to break the ice. "I'm not gonna sugar-coat this: the things you were saying earlier are very concerning. We don't know a thing about you, yet you seem to know about us like the back of your hand. And since we all know Noct's real title, the four of us are on guard to make sure he stays safe. In fact, you seem to know a lot of information no ordinary person should, and I'm beginning to think it has nothing to do with your concussion." He leaned back in his chair. "Which is why we've decided you can't leave."

"...What?"

Before you could start ranting Ignis stepped in. "We're not leaving you in this hospital, miss." Your head drooped and a relieved sigh left you. "It just means you'll be coming with us." If you had a drink in your hand you would've done a spit-take. This wasn't for real. "Don't worry. It doesn't mean we're throwing you in the brig. You'll simply be joining us on our drive back to Insomnia. You can continue your recovery in the citadel while we figure things out, and we'll go from there." Ignis wasn't serious. None of them could be. Noctis was a Prince: the next Lucian King, and a target for anyone with displeasure towards the crown. Your eyes narrowed, searching the strategist's for any hint of deceit, though you had a feeling he was too good at masking his emotions to slip up.

"And along the way," Gladio finished, "you'll be telling us everything. Everything about yourself, everything you know. You're gonna be an open book so we can make sure you're not a potential threat." This wasn't a good idea. You'd never intend to harm any of the four of them, but letting you into the royal palace unchained, with all the knowledge you had that they didn't... It didn't sit well knowing they were basically playing with fire.

You raised your hands in a defensive manner and waved them back and forth. "Okay, that's fine. I don't mind spilling the beans-" Your words halted. If this was all real, if you were _really_ in the Final Fantasy XV universe, that meant there was a chance the world order would be compromised. You couldn't tell them _everything_ , just enough to calm their nerves and not consider using Libra on you for an interrogation. "...But you're not gonna drag anyone else into this little mess, are you?" No one answered. " _Anyone_ else?" you emphasized. Though you were a little scared of what Ignis or Gladiolus could do to you if they thought you were a threat, that was nothing compared to the mere thought of Cor Leonis worming his way into this mess and taking action. If it ever came to that it would suck. He was your favorite character.

Noctis seemed to catch on, because he strode up to you and sat next to the bag still on your right. "Cor's not gonna find out. And if he does, I'll take care of him." And then his hand was in your view, stretched out and waiting. "We'll work together to sort everything out. That sound good?" You could feel everyone's eyes on you while you stared at his hand, judging the way your hands curled in your lap and how you swallowed a lump that wasn't there before. Eventually you nodded and took his hand into your own to complete the handshake, and the Prince immediately began to relax.

"I can work with that." The tension in the room dissipated. "So what first?"

"You can start by telling us your name. Unfortunately we can't fill out the discharge paperwork unless there's a name attached to the patient." Yeesh. There went your cool, out the window and into the volcano at Ravatough. Was it okay to give your real name? Half of your subconscious said yes, to be as truthful with them as the world order allowed; then the other half whispered no. This was an opportunity to live out your teenage dream of bringing one of those 'original characters' you created way back when into existence. It may not become a part of the game, but it was better than it actually taking place and the world knowing your real name like it was available on the dark web. A variety of pseudonyms crossed your mind. Should you go the Latin route like the main cast? Or choose a generic one shared by millions of people? Was it okay to just pull a name out of your ass?

Without another thought you separated your lips and told them the first cool-sounding fake name you could think of.

"Anesidora. It's Anesidora Telesto."

* * *

Once Ignis got the required basic information out of you, the discharge paperwork was filled out and you were set for release. The doctor had questioned you once more about any family to pick you up. You didn't know what to say but Ignis filled in the gaps for you, telling her your family was in Accordo and could not be reached. Before leaving you locked yourself in the bathroom and rummaged through the clothes the guys bought for you. Black seemed to be the height of Lucian fashion, you assumed, when most of the garments you took out lacked any other color. It wasn't a bad thing; really, you were just expecting a little variety. Eventually you settled on the only jeans in the darkest blue without being black, and paired it with a basic black shirt with dark red on the hems. Now you wouldn't look so depressed. The shoes were regular sneakers, nothing special, in black and purple. It was also the first chance you had to really look at yourself in the mirror. Seeing yourself in a photo paled in comparison to your reflection, where you were able to study your appearance from every angle. Your hair wasn't as much of a mess as you thought it'd be, and your body was a little beat up; other than that you looked okay. The facial injuries would take a bit to get used to. A light knock on the bathroom door and a faint, "Anesidora," from Prompto brought your mind back to the current situation and you left the room behind.

Walking with the guys was...for lack of better words, something else. You were short - which was average for women where you lived - but that only amplified the height the others had over you. Especially Gladiolus, who looked like a tree walking next to a stump. All four of them were trees. Exiting the building, you couldn't help asking Gladiolus, "Has anyone else ever told you you're freakishly tall?"

"About as many times I'm sure you've been told you're microscopic," he replied with a toothy grin, earning a groan from you. "You're about as tall as my sister...but I'm sure you already knew that."

"I'm not answering that one," you retorted as the best friends following behind you snickered. You were prepared to spin around and pout at them until they stopped, but your own movement ceased when your eyes fell onto the Regalia. Ignis had gone ahead and pulled up to the curb. You couldn't help the low whistle that left your lips. "...Wow. That is a BIG freakin' car. Almost looks as big as my dad's pickup truck." With a skip you rounded the back of the car, tilting your head to get a good look at the interior. It was a pretty cool car with all the details on it, but there was one thing still bothering you the longer you gawked at it. "Uhh...not to be rude or anything, but where are the seatbelts on this thing?" The guys exchanged glances. Really? Had none of the four, PARTICULARLY Ignis, ever thought about what might happen if they stopped short? It was amazing nobody went flying out when they crashed into you. And you mentioned it every stream. What kind of royal security would have a bulletproof car made for a King and a Prince, only to not include the most basic safety device? Ignis seemed to get the picture right away, with the way his eyebrows scrunched and he held his chin in thought. His lips parted to reply but shut a second later. Gladiolus also lacked an answer. It was kind of amusing. However, you were a nice person, so you bat your hand and shrugged your shoulders to dismiss the subject. "We can worry about that later. Now...where am I sitting?"

There was only one obvious spot for you to occupy. "Don't worry about flying out of the car," Gladiolus said as he opened the door for you. "If I can't catch you in time, Noct'll warp to you before you get hit by another car." Prompto snickered in the driver's seat until Ignis gave his shoulder a light slap.

"Oh, the thought of being launched like a rocket doesn't concern me at all. I'm more worried you'll pass out and crush me when you fall over." Your mind drifted from the car to your surroundings when Prompto pulled away from the curb. Twiddling your fingers in your lap, you had no idea what to do with yourself until you reached Insomnia - and who knew how far away that was from here? The game map couldn't have shown the landscape's actual measurements when you saw the winding roads raise to a bridge that you drove over, leaving Ravatough in full view out in the distance. Silence lingering with the low volume of the radio, you observed the others. Prompto was busy driving; no need to distract him. In the front passenger seat Ignis adjusted his sling and rolled out his shoulders to get more comfortable. Gladiolus was on your right, head propped up and reading one of his books - you had no idea where he pulled it out from. Your eyes switched left to Noctis. He looked bored, ready to snooze at any moment by the way he leaned his head sideways on top of his arms. Everyone was occupied with something except you. Normally, you'd have your headphones on and blast your music while scrolling through your social media pages; you were screwed without a phone to entertain yourself.

"I hope you don't mind, Anesidora," you heard Ignis start, "if we asked you a few questions until we arrive at the citadel. So far we only know your name and age; anything else is either answered by your physical build, or remains a mystery." Carefully he turned around and leaned against the seat to make eye contact, and for the first time since waking up in the hospital, meeting someone's gaze wasn't awkward. The suspicion of the situation remained locked in your mind; for now, it was time to go slow and figure things out. And maybe these four cosplayers - royals - whatever they were would be a big help. You gave Ignis a single nod as your hands drifted upward to play with your curls. "Let's start from the beginning, Anesidora. Where are you from?"

The others stayed quiet, awaiting your reply. Here we go, you told yourself, time to let out the necessary stuff. "I..." Ignis had used an Accordo explanation to get you out of the hospital, and you were glad... But all five of you knew it wouldn't work when you arrived at the citadel. One hint of suspicion from Cor and the Kingsglaive, and you could kiss your head goodbye. It was better to be truthful...or as truthful as you could get without putting all your information out there for someone to steal. Where were you from? That was an important question.

_Don't say Niflheim, don't say Niflheim, don't say Niflheim..._

"I'm from Solheim."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anesidora: the second name of Pandora, the first human woman according to Greek mythology.
> 
> Telesto: a moon of Saturn.


End file.
